1. I single-handedly solved the world energy crisis. You just didn't hear about it because of all the Bristol-Palin Dancing with the Stars drama.
2. I was hunting wolves with my Uncle Rico in Alaska. (GOSH.)
3. I was adapting Swan Lake into an urban rock musical (Christopher Walken and Helen Mirren have signed on, and Queen Latifah's a maybe).
4. I stole the cookies from the cookie jar.
5. I underwent plastic surgery to give myself a second nose.
6. I underwent more plastic surgery to remove the second nose.
7. I was appointed to the Obama administration. Then I quit, and then was re-hired. Twice.
8. I made the world's largest rubber-band ball, only to drop it into the Monongahela River.
9. I invented a new formula for glue, which I sold to the Post-It company. I'm now richer than your entire street.
(not really. :-( )
10. I was learning Mandarin, Arabic, and Spanish. At the same time. (Seriously. Try me. Ask me a question in the comments, and I will answer it in Mandarabanish.)
Anyway, I was actually not doing any of those things (except the Mandarabanish). I was just being really busy and stressed out. If I go for a bit without posting in the next month, it's because I've got some family things going on, and I may not be able to post.
But I will whenever I can! I've still got the very best of my wedding mishaps, injury stories, and other schadenfreude-laced humor that I can't wait to share with you, internet friends! So please stick with me, and I'll get back to regular posts as soon as possible. Happy belated Thanksgiving!