Tuesday, November 30, 2010

Explanations for My Absence that are Way More Interesting than the Truth

1. I single-handedly solved the world energy crisis.  You just didn't hear about it because of all the Bristol-Palin Dancing with the Stars drama.

2. I was hunting wolves with my Uncle Rico in Alaska.  (GOSH.)

3. I was adapting Swan Lake into an urban rock musical (Christopher Walken and Helen Mirren have signed on, and Queen Latifah's a maybe).

4. I stole the cookies from the cookie jar.

5. I underwent plastic surgery to give myself a second nose.

6. I underwent more plastic surgery to remove the second nose. 

7. I was appointed to the Obama administration.  Then I quit, and then was re-hired.  Twice.

8. I made the world's largest rubber-band ball, only to drop it into the Monongahela River.

9. I invented a new formula for glue, which I sold to the Post-It company.  I'm now richer than your entire street.

(not really. :-(  )

10. I was learning Mandarin, Arabic, and Spanish.  At the same time.  (Seriously.  Try me.  Ask me a question in the comments, and I will answer it in Mandarabanish.)

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Anyway, I was actually not doing any of those things (except the Mandarabanish).  I was just being really busy and stressed out.  If I go for a bit without posting in the next month, it's because I've got some family things going on, and I may not be able to post. 

But I will whenever I can!  I've still got the very best of my wedding mishaps, injury stories, and other schadenfreude-laced humor that I can't wait to share with you, internet friends!  So please stick with me, and I'll get back to regular posts as soon as possible.  Happy belated Thanksgiving!

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