Monday, October 11, 2010

Poll Winner: Halloween Haikus

Oh, dear, I've been a neglectful little blog mommy!  Sorry about that, folks!  It's been a super-nuts week, so I only just had the chance to get to some Halloween-themed haikus.  Forgive me, Internet.  For being so late, that is.  Not for the haikus.  You're welcome for those.

Bus People Haikus came in a close second, so I'm going to get to those as soon as possible!  There might even be a little crossover tonight. Excited?  You ought to be!  Here we go...


Preschool
This year I'm a mouse!
My baby sister's a cat...
I'm very confused.


Kindergarten
I am scary witch!
With green lipstick on my face
Mean kid stole my broom! :(




First Grade
Look!  I am LAMB CHOP!
As in, "Song that never ends?"
(Mom thinks*)...this will get old fast.

BONUS PICTURE!!!



Second Grade
Now I'm an angel!
Or maybe I'm a fairy...
I couldn't decide.

BONUS PICTURE!!!
(you will note that my mom made all my awesome costumes, even with other kids milling about. GO, MOM!)



Third Grade

I'm an Indian!
... Er, Native American?
... I just want sugar.


Some Halloweens Later...
They said I was too old for candy,
But I made myself look very handy:
Got my lumberjack on,
(like from Monty Python)
And got treats just for looking so dandy!

(okay, so I slipped into limerick here.  Too much detail for 17 syllables.  And it was pretty sweet, because I made fake axes to go with the flannel shirts and everything.  It was during that millennial-teenager period when we "discovered" Monty Python and thought it was cool, edgy humor.  I don't have a picture, mostly because my fellow lumberjacks and I (there were three of us) wanted to avoid the pictorial shame of trick-or-treating as teenagers in the "candyland" neighborhood.  It's free candy, people!  Don't judge.  Anyway...)


Following Trick-or-Treating as a Teenager
Thirty-two Snickers?!
My life has reached its zenith.
Think I'll have one now...


Following Consumption of Approximately Half of Resultant Snickers Bars
Must learn self-control!
No more Snickers till next year!
...Well, maybe one more.


From the Kid Dressed as Captain Planet to the Delinquents TP'ing Houses
T.P. on a house?!
Halloween is no excuse
To be wasteful, fool!


From Me to the Delinquents TP'ing My House
I hope the next time
You use a public restroom
The roll's gone.  KARMA!


Teen Who Picks Halloween to Announce to Parents That He's Really A Warlock
"Look, Mom, I'm Wiccan."
"What do you mean, you're Wiccan?
Stop making up words!"

(I hesitated before posting this one, for fear of offending a Wiccan in Bulgaria or someplace.  The Husband pointed out that my odds of offending a Wiccan are very small, especially in Bulgaria.  Besides, I’m running low on hate mail.  So bring it on.)

Upon Discovering a Halloween Lady Gaga Lookalike Contest... for Babies
Just threw up in mouth.
Who would dress a kid like this?
Some folks shouldn't breed.


Guy at the Bus Stop
Likes to wear his cape,
Not because it's Halloween;
He's just a creeper.


More to come soon!

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