Yes, the bathroom! The still-not-at-all-finished bathroom! We would never have expected when we started this project in July that we would have to keep the heat off in October because of the radiator system's connection to the Bathroom of Neverending Calamity. But I digress -- pardon the cold-induced whining. I'm writing this post for a far more productive reason......
This blog is just over two months old today! HOORAY! I haven't given up yet!
I've been working long and hard to make it reasonably funny and occasionally pictorial -- I hope you've enjoyed it so far. I have a new series of posts planned that will be unlike anything you've ever read. Mostly because of this weekend in Panama City inspiring me through utter insanity and something called "Thunder Beach." I'll get it going for you as soon as I can!
The quest for legitimacy is far from over, however. You may recall that I want ridiculous success. In the short term, I want to be more famous than Ke$ha. I mean, I have a modicum of talent. I can tile bathtubs, crochet baby blankets, and bake a mean pumpkin pie. PLUS I just figured out how to play the Charlie Brown theme on my Victorian piano. I'm willing to work for it, see? And I can't be more famous than THIS?
She looks like a first-grade art project rolled in glitter and grain alcohol.
However, I am on my way. There are a few things, in my opinion, that you need to have to be a legit blog. And I have begun to (finally) hit some of those marks:
1. Followers: I have some of those! More than I have fingers and toes combined!
2. A rudimentary knowledge of how the interweb works: I have officially come to grips with the fact that the internet is not a series of tubes. There are graphics, labels, links, hyperlinks -- I can even embed videos now! See the end of this post for more.
3. Page hits: I have some of those too!
4. Spam: I received my first spam comment a few days ago! It was absolutely delighful...
"mystery shopping companies Mystery Shopping provides an insight into what happens when hard won prospective buyers are in contact with your sales and customer service teams. Douglas Stafford’s range of Mystery Shopping services cover every aspect of the customer experience – on-site and face-to-face, on the telephone and electronically, through your website."
"there is a remote possibility that someone, somewhere may be reading your blog. Some net troll is trying to peddle Douglas Stafford's Mystery Shopping services to your hard won prospective readers, because he is even more of an internet creeper than you are. kthxbai."
5. Hater Mail: I actually haven't received any of this yet! I don't know whether to be relieved or disappointed. It seems like some sort of weird validation, when someone considers you significant enough to spend five minutes (or more) insulting your writing, your hairstyle, and/or your very existence.
Well, hopefully I'll get some hate mail sometime soon, and then I'll know I've hit the big time. Feel free to send some along if you're up to it -- please not too harsh, though, because any resultant tears might freeze on my face. In the meantime, I feel like I've carved out a tiny sliver of legitimacy. Thank you very, very much for being a part of it. At this point, I can and will keep writing, if you'll keep reading. I am too legit... you might say (sigh), too legit to quit.
(Ha-HA! See what I did there? I embedded a video! And HERE's a link!)