I do this not to put on airs, nor to seem self-righteously linguistic; I simply have to release the bilious grammatical rage from my core from time to time, before it morphs into a Strunk & White supernova that consumes my person, the surrounding civilians, and eventually the world, collapsing into a black hole that was once the English language.
Anyway, my rage this evening was stirred during a seemingly innocuous night in with the Husband. There we were, lounging on the loveseat and fast-forwarding through The Biggest Loser to get to the parts when things actually happened. I have largely grown accustomed to the poor grammar of reality television, but one bit of idiomatic idiocy stuck in my mind like a throwing star, flung by a grammar assassin ninja disguised as a Biggest Loser contestant:
"I think the team really stuck it out this week. We binded together."
Rather than revisit the shock and anguish I felt, how about I just dive right into my rage-induced grammar haikus?
Its: different than
Really. Look it up.
To the Guy from The Biggest Loser
It's "BAND together."
NOT bind, NOT bound, NOT bonded.
Don't forget this one!
(band together (against someone or something)
to unite in opposition to someone or something; to unite against someone or something. We must band together against the enemy. Everyone banded together to finish the cleanup work.
McGraw-Hill Dictionary of American Idioms and Phrasal Verbs. © 2002 by The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc.)
Pittsburghers say this,
Like, "This bus stinks anymore."
I think it sounds weird.
Variations on "Your"
"Your" belongs to you.
"You're" serves to shorten "You are."
Not rocket science.
Hear and Their (Limerick!)
If it belongs to them, use "their";
Combining "they are" creates "they're."
With your ears, can you "hear"
How and when to use "here"?
It's the opposite of the other "there!"
Where You At?
Hate you, Boost Mobile.
Your slogan's a grammar fail.
On many levels.
Ten Items or Less
It should read "Fewer!"
Items are countable nouns...
Little buggers cancel out.
Make a point next time.
What are your grammar/spelling pet peeves? I've got an extra copy of "The Elements of Style" (or a super-sweet Grammar Award -- no joke) for anybody who expresses their peeve through poetry.
Have at it!